Dying to Live, Living to Die
by GenieT
Summary: Vegeta's last thoughts before blowing himself up. ONESHOT


DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters/components.

_/blahblahblah/_ are the lyrics. Duhh.

**Dying to Live, Living to Die**

by Genie

Vegeta scowled as he looked at his son below him, staring up at him wide-eyed in question. He hated weakness, which right now his son was portraying. He hated vulnerability; he hated the lack of strength that his son was showing... The boy was even crying! Saiyans, especially the son of Vegeta no Ouji, did not, would not, _should _not cry.

But all that did not change the fact that Vegeta's blood ran through the veins of the lavender-haired boy before him. It did not change the fact that Vegeta was his father... And those bonds could not be ignored.

"You made me proud, son," he said, ignoring the surprise in his son's eyes, slowly replaced with a look of wonder and happiness. It would not help him in his task ahead.

As hard as it was for him, Vegeta lifted his hand and delivered a swift blow to his son's neck. Trunks collapsed instantly. The other boy, Kakarott's son- what was his name again?- was upset, seeing as his best friend was just knocked out, but he was quickly taken care of with a quick punch up the gut.

Vegeta fought the rising emotion he felt when he saw his son, even Kakarott's son, in the state they were in, but... It had to be done. There was no other way. This was his fault, anyway; if he had just fought Babidi when he tried to get in his head... However, it was his own desire that destroyed himself at the end. His own selfish desire to fight, to be the best, and, most of all... To defeat Kakarott.

_/why am i fighting to live, if im just living to fight/_

Vegeta glanced upwards suddenly; he could feel Piccolo's "ki" heading in his direction. The Namek landed before him and said not a word when he saw the two children lying on the ground. Though he did not quite approve of Vegeta's way of things, he knew what Vegeta was planning to do and it was not in his position to complain. The Saiyan prince glared at him, a familiar scowl tugging at his lips.

"Take them as far from here as possible."

Picollo nodded, and picked the two boys up as if they were dolls. He prepared himself to leave, but Vegeta stopped him.

"Wait... When I die, will I meet that fool Kakarott in the otherworld?"

Picollo sighed. "Vegeta, Goku devoted his life to helping others... He was rewarded for this by permission to keep his body and train under the great King Kai. You, on the other hand, has caused too much suffering. Too many have died at your hands. I'm not sure if even what what you are about to do can redeem you." As much as Picollo hated to be the one to break the news to Vegeta, but it was the least he could do.

If this statement affected Vegeta at all, it did not show. He smirked wryly and gave Picollo a pointed look.

"Well, that will be all. Now get out of here!"

"Right." Picollo blasted off instantly. He called for Krillin to follow, and soon two distinct imprints could be seen in the sky, one slightly trailing the other.

When they were gone, Vegeta smiled to himself sadly. In those last few moments, he had picked his life apart, and could find nothing worth saving him for. He had not died yet, and could not help hoping that maybe- just maybe- he would be rewarded the same things Kakarott was.

_/why am i trying to see, when there aint nothing in sight/_

This would be his first and last gift to the small group of people who even remotely cared of his fate. The result would affect everyone on the planet, everyone who rejected him and would not have thought twice about letting him die.

_/why am i trying to give, when no one gives me a try/_

But then, that's why he was doing this... To redeem his past deeds.

He did not want to die yet. He did not want to leave the family that he had, eventually, grown fond of… Vegeta hated admitting it to himself, but he could not deny that the feeling of love had even begun to blossom inside of his heart.

Then again, he didn't have much of a choice, did he? The fate of the world rested on his shoulders.

He began to power up, knowing it was the only thing to do. The ki of his power burned through his skin. He could feel it inside of him, growing yet. He was yelling, concentrating his power into one huge blast that would eventually destroy himself. Vaguely, he could here Buu calling for "the big green man" to come back, but his fight would not be with Piccolo this day.

"NO," Vegeta roared at him. "Your fight is with me!" He chuckled as the monster looked at him almost quizzically. "I'm going to crush you," he growled, "and THROW YOU INTO THE WIND!"

_/why am i dying to live, if im just living to die/_

He gathered all the energy he had been storing, concentrating it into a giant ki blast. He thought once more of his friends, and family. _Trunks... Bulma... I do this for you... _He thought of the man who had always exceeded him, who Vegeta had hated just for that reason. Vegeta thought of that man, and, for some reason... He could not feel the same hatred as he had before. _And, yes, Kakarott- even you!_

The ritual was complete. With a loud yell, he let himself go inside of the ki blast. There was a blinding burst of light.

And he was gone.

**-fin-**

I love reviews.  
Hint.

-Genie**  
**


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